but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
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I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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