Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
