Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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