fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize