Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
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and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
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I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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