Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
