The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
