I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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