"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
