I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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