5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
