It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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