never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
