we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
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she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
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FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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