She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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