Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
