do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
