Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
