I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
