That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
