no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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