I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
