Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
