How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
