I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
