i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
