what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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