this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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