3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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