On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
