she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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