I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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