Got a toothbrush?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
