does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
