She is in my trunk
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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