too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
