I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Randomize