she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize