All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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