He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
