You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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