no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
