i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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