Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
