im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
