And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
