Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
