I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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