There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
