I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
