Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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