I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
