my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
