You really coming over, don't trick.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
