boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I love you.
Bad choice
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