Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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