Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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