Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
