did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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