did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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