I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
