Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
